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17July2018

Intimacy4us

10 Healthy Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Once your sex life was fun, spontaneous, vigorous and a little naughty. But these days, you and your lover are struggling to make time for each other between the sheets. Sexual desire has a habit of fading in long term relationships – but only if you let that happen.

According to a study published in Social Psychology and Personality Science, people are better able to sustain desire when they are motivated to meet their partner’s needs in the bedroom, even if it conflicts with their own. It seems the secret to better sex lies in unlocking your lover’s desires. Here’s how.

#1: Talk about Sex More Often

Common sense as it may sound, talking about sex without trying to initiate it paves the way to improved communication between lovers. Explore your beliefs, ideas and understanding of sex and what it means to you as a couple. Speak to your lover about what they want, what they like and what gets them going. The more you know, the stronger your love connection.

#2: Set Sexual Goals

Goal-orientated sex gives you and lover time to become excited about exploration in the bedroom again. Create a ‘bucket list’ of things you have always wanted to explore sexually, and create special times during the week when you focus purely on bringing those ideas to life. Make it a balanced list, and invest yourself in every experience you have together.

#3: Master The Art of Flirting

Flirting is the equivalent of an aperitif before the main meal. Not only does it set the tone for what comes later, it actively stimulates sexual interest in your lover. Plus flirting boosts your lover’s confidence, it reduces stress and increases desire using your intellect, creativity, empathy and body language. Master flirting and you master art of attraction

#4: Practice Touching Without Sex

If intimacy has become a concern, and you need to draw closer together as a couple – then you should practice touching each other in a non-sexual manner. Interestingly, the moment you rule out sex, you want it. That’s human nature. Spend time lovingly touching your partner and being affectionate, to reconnect with your desire for each other.

#5: Kill Your Sex Routine

Often, routine sex is boring, unimaginative and unexciting. Mix things up by avoiding ‘doing what you always do’ for a week or two, when you have hit a slump. It will change your life. When you rule out your go-to moves, you renew the possibility of unique experiences with your lover, and it recharges the sexual desire in both of you.

#6: Dress To Inspire Interest

One of the best ways to stimulate desire in your lover is to embrace the senses aspect of sex. Men are highly visual, but woman are too! Dress for sex, put on your best perfume or cologne and set the scene. New sights, smells and textures will always inspire a deeper sexual experience. Even better, you remind your lover what you feel like at your best.

#7: Have Foreplay-Only Days

Sex doesn’t always have to end in…well, sex. Achieving orgasm through slow and focused foreplay can be just as fulfilling. There are many skilfully designed sex toys these days that make foreplay fun, exciting and daring. The ‘Submit to Me First Time Bondage Kit’ or a ‘Sqweel Oral Stimulator’ from the Désir Intimate Collection will set your sheets on fire.

#8: Create a Sexy Cabinet

With so many different types of sex, foreplay and intimacy in the world – you and your lover owe it to yourself to keep things interesting by trying something new at least once a month. If you like what you try, keep it as part of your repertoire. Create a sexy cabinet... here is where you keep all of your luxury sex toys, lingerie and sex essentials. It’s fun customizing it for two!

#9: Commit To Improved Sex Education

Sex education didn’t end in primary school…there is always something more to learn. You could know all 64 of the original Kama Sutra positions and still not be able to motivate desire in your lover. Continuous learning guarantees that you discover more about yourself, your lover, sex as a whole, and both of your changing tastes as you grow together in life.

#10: Be Spontaneous

Be different! Invest yourself in spontaneous sexual moments to keep your lover enticed. Spontaneity could mean sex away from home, a different type of sex game, or perhaps a set of new toys to try bought on impulse. Whatever your flavour, keeping it fresh is also very much about timing.

Having a healthy sex life is key to staying in a strong relationship. You need to focus more on meeting your lover’s needs, and helping them meet yours. By investigating what they want and taking active steps to inspire interest and desire, you can get your sex life back on track.

Don’t be afraid to explore the idea of sex, and what each of you wants to experience in the bedroom. You may find that it brings you closer together than you have ever been before.

The Désir Intimate Collection was created for couples looking to enhance and improve their relationship intimacy together. We have everything you need to start your own sexy cabinet, for exciting new experiences and the rekindling of passion with the one you love. 

For all Désir Intimate Collection products please go to www.desir.co.za.