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18December2018

Intimacy4us

Do you have a sexy bucket list?

A bucket list is that list of things you want to do before you kick the so-called bucket. And a sexy bucket list is for all the naughty things that you and your spouse still want to do in the bedroom department. . .

Most people have a bucket list, even if they haven’t written it down. You and hubby can compile a naughty bucket list that unique to your marriage and your personalities:
1. Be prepared. Get a nice bottle of wine and get into bed early with two note books. Yes, a bucket list can stay in your head but have a physical list that you can refer back to makes things much easier. Obviously a bucket list gets updated regularly, so keep your note books in the bed-side table for when you have that brilliantly creative idea.

2. Plan your list. Determine a date ahead of time so you can let your thoughts go. Think of easily achievable items. It might sound fantastic to have sex on the summit of Everest, but rather start with the hill at the edge of town.

3. Lie next to each other with your note books and write the items that you would really like to have on the list while hubby does the same. Remember that, as with fantasies, there is no judgement here. Do not burst out laughing about your husband’s idea to have sex in a fire man’s uniform. Forget your fears, boundaries and write everything down that is in your head – even the impossible. This is a no limits draft. Sex on a dragon’s back? Bring it on! The idea of this phase is to get the creativity going.

4. Now that you both have a foundation, it is time to sort the possible from the impossible. Be practical and make sure that it is really impossible before you scratch it off. Sometimes you just need to modify it. Sex on a dragon’s back might be impossible but who is going to keep you from doing the dirty on the back of a motorbike? Write down your new list of what you think is possible and leave room for changes. You will constantly add new ideas and let go of simple ones.

5. Show your list to your partner – and remember: No judgement! Talk about every item on each other’s list. Remember that his list might not be appealing to you but the entire idea is to challenge each other and stretch yourself a bit. Look at the items that you truly are not up for and ask him if you can scratch it off or adjust it. He can then do the same.

6. When you have completed these steps, you should have a fairly completed bucket list. Neatly write it out and prioritise while you write. At the top should be the easy things. As the list gets longer the more difficult items (that pose a greater challenge, costs more money or that is more difficult to make a reality) can move to the bottom. This does not mean that you will never do it (if so it does not belong on the list), but just that it is not a priority right now. Keep your naughty bucket list in a safe place. Every time you complete an item you can cross it off the list. Also be sure to add new items. The golden rule? Do not focus on completing the list, just the items on it.

7. You can also compose smaller bucket lists from your larger naughty bucket list. For example: “Our bucket list for the Maldives” or “Before our fortieth birthday. . .”

8. Add an extra column with deadlines or dates. By when do you want to tour an island or go on a hot air balloon ride? It helps a lot when you work towards a date, especially if you are goal orientated.

Be bold, be daring, your marriage matters. 

Additional sources: www.yahoo.com; www.goodtoknow.co.uk 

Article by Annelize Steyn