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18December2018

Intimacy4us

Make him feel good in 5 minutes!

No quickie is this short! But there are certainly several other cute ways that you can make your husband’s day and once again make him feel like he is on top of the world!

You devour the All-Bran, kiss the kiddies good-bye, grab the laptop, run back to the room for your cell-phone and out the door you go . . . think a bit about how those last five minutes and what they look like before your partner walks out the door on his way to work. Does it look roughly like this? Then you are one of millions of women that wish they had more time to get everything done. When someone says to you that you must make time for your marriage or boost your husband, you most likely think: “Urgh . . . I don’t have time for this as well.” But what if we tell you it only requires five minutes of your time . . .

1.    Leave your laptop, pick-up your cell-phone
Chances are very good that you spend hours a day in front of your laptop. You may have a nine-to-five job or you do your family businesses books, or you are busy finalising admin work . . . and it is difficult to just leave everything, but force yourself. Step away from your laptop and take your cellphone to phone your husband and hear how his day is going. Don’t ask just to immediately thereafter tell him how you are struggling with your virus programme, but focus your full attention on him. Take an interest in what he says. If he hears this is the only reason why you called, it may give him an instant boost.

2.    Leave a love note in his bag
Do you know in which bag he will scratch in at least once a day? Maybe it’s his pants’ pocket, his wallet or his T-shirt pocket. Think carefully about something that he recently did that made you feel grateful and write it down on a small piece of paper, even a post-it. Store the note in that bag and make him feel like you truly appreciate him.

3.    Phone his brother to hear how it’s going
If you and his family are close to each other, well done! If not, it will mean that much more to him if you reach out to them. It’s worth it to cultivate a good relationship with your family in-law. So, phone his brother in Australia to find out how it’s going and say rather matter-of-factly later on at the dinner table: “Love, Daniel says little Barry started surfing!” To show an interest in his family, shows that they mean just as much to you as they mean to him.

4.    But don’t forget about the quickie!
No, we already said 5 minutes is not enough time . . . but what about a quick foot or neck massage? Look on YouTube – there are so many lessons. One day make the effort to learn (while sitting in front of your laptop) how to give the perfect massage – it will make him feel like you are his personal masseuse.

5.    Teach your children to appreciate him
A reader on happywives.com talks about how she tells her children at every available opportunity, to thank their father for his hard work at the end of each month after he received his salary. In this manner your husband will see it and not feel like what he does is taken for granted. On top of that, you contribute to the formation of a positive image of your husband in your children’s eyes.

6.    For once say yes!
Another reader says that every now and then you must say yes for something that you usually hesitate doing. Maybe he wants to go cycle with you and you don’t like sweating. Surprise him for once and take the initiate to suggest it first. Remember, a marriage is about compromise. And in this way he knows that you are prepared to do something that you don’t enjoy – to make him happy!

7.    Listen to his passions
Pay great attention the next time he tells you something about his work or his passions. We have such a tendency to take each other for granted that one easily says without thinking “Hmm” when your partner tells you something, while you are giving the children food or chasing the dog outside. Go sit across your partner and listen attentively to what he has to say.

8.    Buy him his favourite luxury item
Is he a sucker for a cream doughnut? Does he like chocolate chip ice-cream? When you go to the shops, forget about your list and think about what your hubby’s weakness is. Does he prefer something sweet or salty? Get it specially for him. It isn’t only about the gift, but about the fact that you took note and cared enough to know what he likes.

*Inspired by Fawn Weaver, founder of die Happy Wives Club (www.happywives.club).

Written by ANNELIZE STEYN