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17October2018

Intimacy4us

Love languages – Acts of Service

If her love language is acts of service...
Acts of service is to do things for your partner that you know they will appreciate. You serve her knowing it will make her happy, explains Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages”. If you take out the garbage, wash the bugs off of her windscreen, tidy up the garage, mow the lawn and remember to clean the fish pond, these are all tasks of appreciation.

Sometimes it takes some thinking, hard work, energy and planning, but if you do it with a positive attitude – you will talk a language of love. (Jesus Christ set a good example of appreciation when he washed the disciple’s feet.)

Acts of service are not when meet your partners demands (nobody feels like doing things they are forced to do!), but when you do something out of your own to keep her happy. If your wife regularly complains for example that you never want to buy the groceries for her or are prepared to bath the kids, it’s then possible that her love language is acts of service. “Your partner’s criticism of your behaviour is a clue to their primary love language. People are inclined to criticize their partner on the area where they feel the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is a cry for love,” explains Gary.

Good, so if her love language is acts of service, then it will be necessary for you to put your macho image aside and to review your role as man of the house! Many women today expect more acts of service from their men because the sex roles don’t look the same as they did 30 years ago. If you are prepared to change the stereotypes, then you will be able to show your love in a much more productive way.

How do you talk her language of acts of service?
•    Wash her car for her, inside and out.
•    Offer to make dinner for her tonight.
•    Rub her back when she gets home all tired from work.
•    Bath the kids and put them in bed.
•    Ensure that the garden is in a neat condition.
•    Phone her after work and ask if she needs anything at the shop.
•    Help her to organize the children’s birthday party.